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Showing posts from 2015

Walking the trapeze- go girl go!

“Day dreaming when pregnant”- Dressed up in smart business casuals, I walk into the office. Check mails, hold meetings, complete my work at jet speed and leave for the day by 4. Yes! that's going to be my target everyday to beat the maddening traffic of Bangalore. Anything pending I can always log in from home. Once back I have all the time for my little munchkin. How perfect! The best of both worlds. Now sets in the reality after I join back office. A sleep deprived, blurry eyed woman who has spent the early hours of morning cajoling the baby to go to bed and before she could catch a wink, there rings the alarm. ‘Wake up; wake up it's a bright new day’. Run around the house completing the unending morning chores and somehow make it to the office cab in time much to the annoying glares of co passengers and the driver who have been waiting. Once in office there are a few dozen mails to be read, the workload seems to pile up. The to do list with an ETA (expected time of arrival)…

Second innings?

A few days back, my beautician who is also a good friend mentioned in the course of a conversation that her elder sister who was widowed at a young age, tied the knot a second time at the age of 65. A chance encounter with a handsome stranger, a few conversations and they decided to get betrothed. She did not have any kids, had lived her life in London, was widowed 15 years back and had moved to Mumbai. She yearned for company and someone to share her life with at this stage of life and lo! behold! she got what she wished for. My mum and I were really happy to hear this. India is changing at least some of us are I thought.
On introspecting about this - a few things that struck me are- well maybe my statement about India changing does not hold good. In this particular case the woman had no children so it was a sole decision. But what about widows or divorcees who have children? Can they think of marrying again? How receptive would their children/ grandchildren be to the idea of their…

Getting back to work after maternity - a 5 point guide

The most joyous moment which you were waiting for has finally arrived. Your tiny bundle of joy is in your arms. As you hold her for the very first time cuddle, her feed her , time seems to stand still . O but that's only for a fleeting second. Once you are out of the hospital , the rest of the days are a blurry sleep deprived, and energy draining days where you are either feeding the baby, trying to calm him down or bathing him, cleaning his potty or attending to some other need of his. All this time you are completely besotted by the little munchkin. 
Time flies by and it's time to get back to work. It's not easy, having spent so many months in a totally different set up and with your little one, the thought of being away for at least 10 hours a day is heart wrenching. And if you would be leaving the little one at a day care or with a maid the fear of his safety and well being will always be lurking in your mind. 
A few tips to wade through this phase and make the transitio…

So when are you giving us the "Good news" Mrs A?

Been married for X years, so when's the good news? If this question hasn't been thrown to you time and again and you said you live in India, I would be gobsmacked. The age to marry, to procreate, then procreate again so that your child has a sibling, everything seems to be decided by society here isn't it. 
There are many couples who unfortunately cannot conceive and wait, pray and try every possible way to become parents. But there are some - who do not want to have kids by choice. I see this trend of DINK( Double Income No Kids) on the rise. Though I am always conscious not to raise the good news question before anyone, I sometimes do take the liberty with good friends. 
One such colleague whom I knew well since a couple of years , was married for close to 3 years and when I asked her casually about having babies, he promptly replied - neither she nor her spouse are very fond of kids so they are not thinking of one. On thinking about this- I would wonder but how can one no…

Are our children safe anymore?

Though I always read about the perfect way to start the day in Sunday times- positive thoughts, meditation, zeal and enthusiasm which would set the mood for rest of the day, mornings are far from that, especially weekdays. The mad rush of getting ready for office, the calls of the cab driver, thought of not seeing angel for the next 10 hours at the minimum are all dancing around in my mind. To make matters worse, I hear the heart wrenching news of a 3 year old who was raped in school. The front page news screams about this, the perpetrator is still on the loose, the child is traumatised, too young to identify the culprit. All she can say about is that it still hurts and uncle. Police are on the lookout for uncle. I shuddered for a moment when I heard it. My first thought was of angel who is just about to complete 8 months and as eagerly as we watch her grow, I tremble at the thought of sending her to school when this has become such s common occurrence. In the past one year Bangalore …

Have u had the period talk with your little girl?

Little Rhea came running home, her face looked pale, her eyes bore the sign of tears which had been trickling down a while ago. One look at her and Mumma quickly put down the cup of tea and rushed towards her. What had happened? Did she fall down or have a tiff with someone? Was she hurt? Did the teacher rebuke her for something? A crease of worry appeared on Mumma's face. Before Mumma could utter a word, Rhea rushed into her arms and hugged her tightly, Mumma held her tight reassuring her that whatever it was , it would be fine and Mumma was with her. They stood like that for a couple of minutes, mother daughter , Mumma waiting for her to calm down, eager to know what had transpired that made her bubbly daughter so sad , hiding her fears and trying to be patient and let her daughter settle down. Rhea on the other hand had a turmoil running in her mind. Once Rhea's sobs had reduced, Mumma wiped her tears, made her drink some water  and asked her to sit, she held her daughter&…

Short Story- The turning point

“Oh that must have been tough for you, such a tender age, but why did this happen?” She had heard this time and again from so many people whenever they got to know that her parents were divorced, Divorce- a word which is associated with stigma in our society and however progressive we claim to have become, we still can’t seem to take this without the- ooh and aah, the I’m so sorry for you and Why did this happen? Asmita’s parents had been divorced when she was 10 years old, why they parted ways is probably something that she would never fathom but the bitter truth hit her time and again. She was 24 now and had a life of her own. She had focussed all her energy into academics and had secured a good professional education and a job at one of those companies people dream to work for. She earned a good salary which she splurged on herself to buy all those things which she had only dreamt of in the past, she travelled the world and was content with her busy life. She longed for a family. A hu…

Reminiscing those countless beautiful childhood moments!

As we grow older, a thought and longing to relive those wonderful years of our childhood is one that most of us unanimously vouch for. What an irony - when we were young we couldn't wait to get older- to graduate to high school and start using ink pens instead of pencil, and then go to college and wear all the lovely clothes which lie unused in our wardrobe and do away with the drudgery of uniforms and then we wait eagerly to get a job and make money so that we can buy all that our heart desires. Strangely though as we reach that stage, realisation dawns that life was the best when we were children. O those carefree days filled with laughter, mirth, joy where we basked in the glory of the sun, gobbled up mouth watering delicacies till our stomachs could take them no more, played, ran, skipped, sang. It was truly memorable and looking at kids today I often wonder -no doubt this is a beautiful phase in their lives but there are things we did in the 90's which they would probabl…

Pink is for girls and blue is for boys- Says who? Shoo away the gender bias

Pink and pretty, sweet and spice, that's our little girl, all things nice. Rough and tough, all in blue, the naughty little brat, ah our little boy.
For ages we have been associating certain colors with particular genders. I see things changing now and whats more impressive(more than girls sporting "blue", its our boys who are embracing "pink" in spirit. Indeed a welcome change.
Our upbringing plays a significant role in the way we think, act, react later in life. Habits die hard they say and most of these are inculcated at a very nascent stage of life, hence its important to place emphasis on raising our children the right way. Apart from giving them a good education, proving for all their needs, as parents we play a critical role in raising responsible children. There's so much talk about gender bias, inequality of the sexes, women empowerment- are we overdoing it at times, I wonder. But I look around and see - things have not changed much. I still see these …

The day I got my big promotion (Short story)

Gazal read the mail once again. Gazal Malik, Senior Vice President of AMZ Ltd. It was her dream come true. She had waited for this day and dreamt of it from the time she joined AMZ 10 years back. Her biggest aspiration and the reason for her toiling day and night, waking up at odd hours and boarding flights, shuttling between cities, in fact at times even at the cost of putting her family behind. And finally she had made it. She got the official confirmation this morning from her boss. Until then her mind was in turmoil , unsure if she had made it this year or not. The news would be announced officially to all employees in a few days. This was her moment. She wanted to savour it, enjoy it to the fullest and revel in it. But she felt something was amiss. What was it? Her eyes fell on the mantle piece which had a family photo of Diya, her husband Aman and herself, taken at Hong Kong where they went on a family trip last year. How happy they looked and the gleam in Diya's eyes was so …

Of Mommies and friendships

We all love "Sex and the city" for the ravishing protagonists, their chic wardrobes and dainty sandals, the high life, not to mention Mr Big who makes many of us go weak in the knees, but above all what's appealing is how these 4 women manage to keep their friendship alive and not just "manage"but make efforts to reach out to each other in times of need, or good times, in times of despair, in celebrations and every small event in their lives. 2 of them Miranda and Charlotte become Mommies in the later seasons but that doesn't act as a deterrent in their friendship. Watching the 4 of them share that Saturday brunch which is like a weekend ritual as they pour out their hearts content, chat about the men in their life, share their dreams and fears- makes me sometimes wish I had a super duper girly gang like that.
I know it's just a soap and looking at real life, everything is not so hunky dory. As much we all would love to maintain such friendships, it is…

From being Mr n Mrs to being Mommy Daddy

The first year of marriage is the most beautiful phase, enjoy it to the fullest, I heard this from so many couples and it's strangely true in so many ways. Thinking of my brief courtship, marriage and the first year that flew by, was indeed a overly  romantic, Bollywood movie in my life. The love flutters, countless Sms and calls , eagerly waiting for those meetings and the d date which seemed so near yet so far- were then replaced by cuddles and hugs, late night movies and weekend getaways, simply lazing in bed talking over something and then leisurely going to one of our favourite coastal cuisine restaurants, and not to forget our common love for cashew fudge@Corner house. and how can I forget those countless photos where we looked deep into each other's eyes and people exclaimed " u r kidding me, this cannot be an arranged marriage, you guys look so deeply in love" , and I smiled  coyly. The first year just passed by like a dream.then came the day when we found o…

Success but at what price?

Around a month back, newspapers carried the sad news of a young man at the brink of his career who was an addition to the young people who have it all- studied at the most reputed institutes, the Ivy League tag, interned at one of the top companies and clinched that dream job which everyone aspires for. I am sure his parents chest swelled with pride whenever they spoke of their beloved son. This is the epitome of academic and professional success , isn't it? He had been toiling hard burning the midnight oil all these years - it was for this day. To secure this coveted job in the top company and that too beyond the shores of his motherland. - he had conquered it all . Hadn't he? Then why did he succumb and why such a tragic end to a life which had just begun. A bud which had just begun to bloom - before the petals could emerge, before it could bask in the glory why was life sniffed  out so brutally? A tragic end to a life so young and promising.
The saddest part is- one would …

Letter to Angel-a small step towards making this world a better place

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My dear Angel,

Love took an all together new meaning the day you entered my life. Being your mom has made me grow as  a person. I will not say becoming more responsible, a better planner or more organised , that I can take pride in always being one. But it has helped me mature as an individual.
As a parent, I am always wishing that you get the best in life- be it in terms of happiness, health, fame, money. I know in my heart that I cannot shield you forever, a day will come when you will have to step out, spread your wings and fly. As you soar high in the sky, your  Mumma will always be with you in spirit, praying for you, watching out, lest your wings get injured, she's here to mend them (or never mind, we just get new ones- you know the way Mumma buys stuff on Jabong- its that simple see!)
Some of life's lessons which I have learnt over the years , enriched by my own experiences, which  have made me a stronger person are something I want to share with you my love. As you grow u…